We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
