We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
