so explain again why im purple
no
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
