xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
