i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
