bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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