He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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