some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
