DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I booty called her while she was in labor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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