I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
