i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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