this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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