dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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