nut hugger
we made out on top of his cat.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think my moral compass just broke
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
