Don't you send me to vm
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
