Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
