We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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