i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
