that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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