His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
