He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize