Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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