yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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