Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
