I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
