Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
