I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
