he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
