That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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