Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
