Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
