Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
