Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
