this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize