Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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