Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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