Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
