that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
