i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
