The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
