it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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