we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
