He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize