I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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