note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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