The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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