I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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