maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
