I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize
