Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
