singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
