I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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