im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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