I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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