im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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