too bad you live with your parents still
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
