I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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