Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Two words: nipple clamps
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