the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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