Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
