Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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