yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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