Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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